GREATs Up and Running at Lime Rock Park

Lime Rock Installs Gravity Recovery Erg and Therm systemNow racers can drive their cars as if they were on rails thanks to GREATs

Lime Rock Park General Manager Steve Sewell announced today the completion of an innovative, robust, scalable, bleeding-edge and next-generation on-track electric power system – sustainable, of course – that will allow any driver to lap Lime Rock in record-breaking time.

Inspired by a 1957 Raymond Loewy design study (after he failed to get through the Downhill flat), GREATs – Gravity Recovery Erg and Therm system – has already been hailed by superstar track designer Hermann Tilke. “Damn it, it’s what I’ve been trying to do for years! Why didn’t I think of this?”

Sewell said, “We must all efficiently operationalize our strategies, invest in world-class technology and, of course, leverage our core competencies in order to holistically administrate exceptional synergy.”

Now in testing phase (see photo of the first test race), Sewell anticipates GREATs will calm the nerves of the NHTSA, the IIHS and LAACDWHNPSIG – Los Angeles Area Coalition of Drivers Who Have No Problem with the Safety Inherent in Gridlock – as racing accidents are predicted to be reduced, on average, 3.14159 percent annually once the system is deployed nationwide. This is a relatively big piece of the pie, according to experts at SLICE (Safety Lies In Cornering and Exiting).

Christine DeMichael, Lime Rock’s marketing director, said, “By gaining traction with our resources in the marketplace, it's mission-critical to stay incentivized. Our business plan will foster flexible solutions for our customer base. We do plan to monetize our assets, in case you were wondering.”

Executives from Apple, Google and Microsoft are rumored to have landed bizjets at Lakeville International Airport this morning.

Lime Rock Park wishes to effusively thank Alfred Matthew Yankovic, L.L.C., Ltd., Co., Inc., for its unmitigated support and inspirational weirdness – as well as the use of the company’s sole remaining Texas Instruments talking calculator – during the design and construction phases of GREATs.


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